you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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