You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
