I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
