She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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