How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
