so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What a dumb baby whore.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
