The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
