: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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