the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
