I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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