When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
