He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize