i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize