i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
