Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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