break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How did I end up in the pool?!
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We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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