Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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