as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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