Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize