he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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