i think i have herpe
just one?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
