me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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