My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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