thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
