How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
