I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
