Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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