he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
