So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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