i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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