dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
