East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
