we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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