question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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