Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
