she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
