Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
