where am i from again
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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