this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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