how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
