Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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