wanna go halves on a baby?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
