well you can't waste a boner
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
