Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
