I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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