im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
