he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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