wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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