Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
