why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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