and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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