you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
