dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
