shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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