I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can't turn off my feet"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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