drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
