I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
