I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
