oh god the rape fog is back!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is wine microwaveable?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
