Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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